What is Sexy?

 

I hear IT all the time, “Do you have anything sexy?”  I always cringe at this question and answer with,“Well, what do you consider sexy?”  Usually, I get the typical answers that include, low cut, sheer, tight fitting, short, etc.. I’m often irritated by that response. As I go about  trying to find clothing that fits those requirements, with about as much enthusiasm as I would when watching a toaster, I wonder why the fashion world has forgotten the importance of individual style and genuine beauty.

How much lower, shorter, tighter, or sheerer can a piece of clothing get to keep meeting the expectations of the modern version of sexy?  When I work with celebrity stylists, it often disappoints me to discover that some are more concerned with finding something shockingly revealing than with finding something that truly defines a style.  If I show them an amazing Clare Potter or Ceil Chapman 50’s dress with extraordinary detail and uncompromised quality, they will often tell me that they love the dress, but the neckline is too high.  “Not sexy enough..”  Once again, I’m irritated and bored, but smile, of course.   

It is always so refreshing to meet a stylist, collector, designer or everyday shopper who understands that sexy isn’t defined by a hemline, neckline, or fabric, and that a beautifully made garment from any era can look sexy on the person who wears it well. I was so impressed when a costume designer took one look at one of my dresses and said, "You have Clare Potter?" Very few people, even professionals, would instantly recognize a Clare Potter dress!  THAT got my attention and she and I had an instant connection.  I ended up loaning her the clothing for the movie she was working on, without charge, just because I respected her and was encouraged by her refreshing view of fashion.

The question of what is sexy is as open ended as the age old query, “What is art?” When I think of sexy, I think of confidence.  Confident women who don’t succumb to fashion trends or the opinions of the E! channel, exude an aura that is hard to define, mysterious, and alluring.

Grace Kelly, for example, could be sexy in dresses that might have made other women feel like librarians.  When she donned an Edith Head creation in one of her movies or at the Academy Awards, no one could compete with her style, presence and sex appeal.  She could wear sportswear and evening gowns with an equal amount of confidence and even the kaftans she wore in her latter years demanded global attention.  Grace Kelly defined sexy by being comfortable in whatever she was wearing and by maintaining her own sense of self in a world that tried to impose upon her its own expectations of what sexy should be. 

Grace Kelly refused to allow others to write the definition of beauty into the script that was her life.  She was more than a pretty face, and like Audrey Hepburn, had a unique compassion for humanity that only accentuated her beauty. When she was leaving Hollywood, she is quoted as having said something that is my favorite quote and definitely characterizes a genuinely sexy woman:

"I'll tell you one of the reasons I'm ready to leave. When I first came to Hollywood five years ago, my makeup call was at eight in the morning. On this movie it's been put back to seven-thirty. Every day I see Joan Crawford, who's been in makeup since five, and Loretta Young, who's been there since four in the morning. I'll be damned if I'm going to stay in a business where I have to get up earlier and earlier and it takes longer and longer for me to get in front of a camera." 

I can only hope that everyone reading this will not only define sexy for themselves, but define their own personal style as well.  Learn what styles work with your body type, demand quality over quantity, and walk into every room with poise and self assuredness. (Perfect posture always helps). Whether it be an evening gown from the 1940’s, a 50’s party dress, or a pair of jeans and a tee shirt, wear it with the understanding that beauty and sexiness come from knowing who you are and in deciding not to reveal all of it to the world.  That kind of sex appeal is timeless, and in my opinion, the only kind worth having.